First Day Jitters

To say I was nervous about going back to work would be a HUGE understatement!  I was not nervous about seeing people at work, or getting back into my projects, or even fitting into my clothes (ok, maybe a little); I was nervous about leaving this adorable fella' all day long.  

We are so blessed to have family watching him all 5 days during the week, but even still, I knew I was going to miss him like crazy and feel guilty for getting back to the {work} grind.  About 3 weeks before I headed back I started to panic.    

How was I going to do this? Getting up early and leaving him somewhere else, with someone else!   

What if he forgets who I am? We have formed such a great bond, what if this breaks it?   

Is this really worth it? Can't we just go live in a tent on the beach somewhere and call it a day?!  

Each day led to new thoughts and new reasons to get upset and worry about the future.  Luckily for me, I was {and still am} surrounded by encouragement.  Family members and friends alike who prayed for me, encouraged me and talked me off the ledge.  What I am doing right now is exactly what I should be doing.  Where I am right now is exactly where I should be.  How we're choosing to look after Max is exactly how we should be....regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

So this past Sunday night, as I packed Max's bag, my lunch, my work bag and my pump {a whole other post of it's own...}, I knew what I was doing was right.  I held my sweet boy extra tight all evening, and gave him even more kisses than usual.  He reassured me that the bond we have could not be broken, not even by 8 hours spent by him at someone else's home while I worked.

When I woke up Monday morning, I knew I was covered in prayer, and I felt it.  I cried a little on our way to my sister's and then again after leaving her home, and that was it.  He was beyond happy to be with his Aunt Ash & cousins all day, and we are SO blessed to have them to watch him!

I arrived at work and was warmly welcomed by my friends...

And was provided awesome updates by Aunt Ash throughout the day...

When 4:30 rolled around, my awesome husband brought my sweet little man to me at work so I could show him around to my colleagues, and I was in heaven.  We can do this, I thought.  This is our new normal, and we can {and will} make it through! 

And at the end of the night, all we did was snuggle on the sofa.  This is a bond that can never be broken.