the worst day of my life

Where have I been?!  Who knows.... probably busy chasing a toddler and a very mobile infant.  Whew, parenthood is no joke.  Lots of laughs, and tons of joy, but it's not for the faint of heart!  Between the boys and working full-time, things have been a little, well, busy.  So much has happened, I couldn't even try to fit it into a recap post; it's just too much.  Regardless, I wanted to get back into blogging for one big reason - allergies.  Food allergies, to be exact.

In the last four-ish months, our family has been greatly affected by the crazy world of food allergies.  I never thought much about food allergies in kids, primarily because I was blissfully unaware of how hard life could be when affected by them, but also simply because they didn't affect me.  Not my family.  Not my kids.

On Saturday, April 25 I came home from a work trip...exhausted.  We grabbed a quick late lunch on our way home from the airport and I told BL I was going to do a simple dinner and put the kids to bed right after dinner.  Did I mention I was lazy tired?!

Haynes was old enough to try eggs, and Max loves his "cheesy eggys" so that's what I whipped up for dinner.  Knowing this was a highly allergenic food, I stripped him down to his diaper so I could see his skin.  At the very worst, I thought he would get a little rash if the eggs didn't agree with him.  I was tired and not thinking things through, because I have always followed the "new things in the morning" rule in case of a reaction.  Remember, my plan was to put them to bed right after dinner... {I still shutter a bit thinking of what would have happened if his reaction didn't come on quick}

Haynes loved the eggs, gobbled them all right up and smiled the whole way!  About 15 minutes after he started eating, he was done and ready for his bottle.  I grabbed him out of his seat and noticed some splotchy areas on his chest and neck, so I asked BL to come in and verify that it wasn't my eyes.  He agreed, and I said "well, I guess he has a little allergy or something?" so I grabbed my phone and called the most knowledgeable person I know...my mom :) I remember asking about what an allergic reaction to eggs could look like, and as I was talking I noticed his lymph nodes behind his ears were growing, and already the size of a small blueberry.  I abruptly got off the phone with my mom and called urgent care to make sure they would stay open for us, and I packed up the baby to head out the door.  I had just been gone for 6 days and my 2 year old was screaming bloody murder that I was leaving him again.  I was crying, he was crying, baby was swelling and BL was praying.

I want to stop here and say that I now know I should have called 9-1-1 and let help come to us.  I had no clue.  If you're child is having a bad reaction and swelling quickly, don't hesitate, call 9-1-1.

The baby and I made our 15-minute drive to urgent care and I was checking to make sure he was breathing every chance I got.  Thinking "why in the hell am I driving and not calling 9-1-1?!" but honestly didn't think they could get me there any faster.

Children's Healthcare Urgent Care was super fast to get us in and so helpful in my panicked state.  They informed me that his airways looked clear and they would give him Benedryl and a shot of epineperine to counteract the reaction, and then we would ride in an ambulance to Children's Healthcare down in Atlanta so he could be monitored for a few hours.  This was standard for them and they saw no reason to worry.

About 10 minutes after the first shot of EPI, I told the nurse he wasn't improving and I would like to see the doctor again.  She came in and checked him out...his ears, his hands, his face...all swelling more.  He couldn't keep a paci in either, which made me think his tongue was swelling as well.  They gave him another shot of epinephrine and put in an IV.

I remember this moment so vividly, and will never be able to erase it from my memory.  My tiny little nugget, swollen and miserable, screaming his head off on that huge hospital bed.   Then, in one moment, he stopped crying and looked up at me {I am sobbing thinking about that look}, and his eyes rolled back in his head and his heart rate monitor went crazy.  My poor sweet baby.  I couldn't do anything but watch the doctor and nurses get him stable and breathing normally, and it was honestly the most terrifying moment of my life.  I pled with God not to take my baby, and I remember saying "This isn't what is supposed to happen, God! Not like this!"

As they were continuing to work on Haynes and keep him stable, a sweet nurse came up to me, trembling herself, and said they had changed our mode of transportation from ambulance to a helicopter, and we would be leaving as soon as they could get the helicopter there.  "It's really that bad?" I said.  "It's really that bad." she replied.   I just sobbed.  I made the call to BL, who was at home with our toddler, and to my mom so she could come meet me while he arranged childcare for Max.

What happened next was a blur; I vaguely remember the two paramedics from the original ambulance who came in to get Haynes ready for his journey to the children's hospital.  Soon after, I heard the helicopter come in and land, and in walk three men in flight suits who took Haynes and explained to me what was about to happen.  When we walked outside, I realized how many people went into making this whole thing possible, and then my appreciation for our public service members grew even more!! You see, there isn't a helipad at the Urgent Care.  There was the one ambulance I mentioned, but then also two fire trucks and one police car there to block off the road so the helicopter could land, and then take off again.  All for my baby.  I am a very fortunate and rare parent who was able to ride along with my child; I have learned since then that it is few and far between when parents are allowed to take that journey.  Thank you Jesus for that sweet gift.  As I told the pilot, it wasn't the way I wanted my first arial tour of Atlanta, but I was so glad to be there with my boy.

When we landed, everyone was ready for us, the team at Egleston was phenomenal!  I am so thankful for their role in Haynes' recovery.   He was stable and the swelling was finally starting to decrease.  Long story short (ha!), they kept us over night and monitored Haynes closely to be sure he would not have a second flare up once the EPI wore off.  My mom was there for most of the night, and BL arrived once we got him off to my brother and sister-in-law (THANK YOU!!!).  It was an exhausting night, to say the least.  We were trained on an epi pen, given a prescription and sent home with instructions to "try nothing new" until we saw an allergist.

So now what?  Well, I will write another post about our trip to the allergist and what else we discovered... Pretty sure this is enough for one day.  For now, I will say it's good to be back on the blog, and I hope and pray this will become a place where I can share knowledge and tips people have shared with me.  A place were mommas (or dads or friends) can read and not feel alone; not feel the isolation of food allergies.

Until next time, make it a great day. Choose happiness.

Photoshoot Surprise!

In case you missed it on my social media pages, we had a BIG announcement...

It still doesn't quite seem real that baby #2 is on the way!  We are excited about what is ahead and really look forward to seeing Max as a big brother!  

Some people have been asking about the story behind the video, so I thought I would answer those questions and give you a breakdown of the big surprise!  

Unlike with Max, we were not trying to get pregnant...in fact, we had said we would 'think' about baby #2 after Max turned one in mid-December.  However, when I went to bed one Friday night in early December, I thought to myself 'I am pregnant'.  I just felt it.  I didn't feel sick, I didn't feel sore, I just felt pregnant {yes, that feels just as odd to say as it is to read}.  Knowing I wouldn't be far along if I was, I decided to wait until Saturday morning to take a test because a morning test is more accurate in this stage {TMI for those no where near TTC}.  So Saturday morning, BL went off to work and I took the test...two lines formed a perfect cross on the screen.  Baby #2 was on the way. 

So many emotions ran through my head and I was having a hard time believing it was real.  I sat on our bed wondering how I would tell BL when he got home and then it hit me...use our photo shoot this afternoon.  This would be perfect!  Our photographer extraordinaire {and my adorable, sweet and beautiful cousin Lesley} could aid in my big reveal and it would be captured on camera to show this sweet baby someday...perfect!  So I made the phone call to Les and we started to craft the plans for the day. 

As we walked through the High Museum taking pictures I couldn't believe the bomb I was about to drop on my husband...he was blissfully unaware of what was yet to come! 

We finished up pictures inside and went outside to capture some different shots, and that was when Lesley did it....we posed in front of this huge white wall and all smiled at the camera.  

 

 Then Lesley said, "everyone look at the camera and say 'Chrissi's pregnant!'" To which BL obeyed and then looked at me and said "wait...really?"

 

      YES! Really! 

  

 Hooray!  Then he said "Max you're going to be a BIG BROTHER!"

 

{more excitment}

 ...and complete joy.

 

Baby #2, we are excited to meet you later this year......

Month SIX!

DIAPERS:
Wearing size 2 diapers and wearing a variety of brands.  Our favorites are Pampers, Huggies and Target brand. 

CLOTHES: 
You're a small guy... still wearing mostly 3 month clothing. We've had to put you in 6 month jammies now, but they are big on you.  You're just starting to squirm around when you're being changed, making it a good adventure to get dressed!

MEASUREMENTS:
Weighing in at 13lbs event and 25in long, you're staying pretty small for your age.  The "official" percentiles given have changed a bit in the weight department since last month: 2% weight, 10% height and 75% head.

EATING:
You've just starting eat foods and you LOVE it!  We started you on rice cereal last week and now you've tried (and loved!) peas.  It's so fun to watch you learn things, like how to eat and how things taste. I am making your baby food so far, and it's proving to be an easy and cheaper process than purchasing jars from the store.  Also, you are so interested in watching people eat around you.  You'll often study them putting the food in their mouth and sometimes even reach for it yourself.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
You are doing a great job of sitting up when supported.  Dr. Royal continues to tell us you have "incredible tone" and you're strength is great... You're great at standing up either in our laps or against something you can hold onto.  We are so proud of how well you're growing, even if you are a tiny guy ;)

LIKES:
Toys that you can chew on....ok, pretty much ANYTHING you can put in your mouth.  Cuddles, grabbing mouths (you are fascinated!), playing peek-a-boo & bath time...you love bath time!! 

DISLIKES:
Your tummy still does not like the milk protein that momma gives you, so you're still on a no-dairy diet {which really means momma is on a no-dairy diet!}. 

NOTABLE EXPERIENCES:
You had your first trip to urgent care on your 6month birthday.  Poor baby, you were so congested and choking on any mucus you coughed up.  Luckily we caught the sinus and ear infection early :)

High Five for Friday {1}

{1} One of my best girlfriends from childhood had a baby girl!  Loved meeting sweet Caroline on the day of her birth! In love with her already...

{2} Evening snuggles with my baby boy have become my favorite time of the day!

{3} Throw back Thursday was in honor of my Granddaddy, whom we lost two years ago this week.  Miss that man every single day.  

{4} Took little Max to meet his new buddy, miss Caroline!  Loved having a little baby swap time with our kiddos!  Hard to believe we played with our dolls and now we're playing with real babies...and they are ours!  HA!  Our 10 year selves would be so happy to know this is what the future holds.

{5} Someone has decided that his thumb is better than a paci. Let's see how long this lasts...

Linking up with From my Grey Desk for HF4F!

Enjoy your Friday, friends! 
XO

Month TWO!

This month....

DIAPERS:
Wearing size 1 diapers and, until this week, you had no blowouts.  You were so kind to your Papa and your Mimi and gave them both your first two blowouts in this size diaper :) 

CLOTHES: 
Wearing all 0-3 month clothing now.  Many of your pants are still too long, but your belly sure does fill up the tops!  Thankfully, you're not too squirmy when you're being changed, but I am sure that will change!

MEASUREMENTS:
Weighing in at 10lbs 10oz and 21 3/4in long, Max has certainly been eating well & growing strong!  The "official" percentiles given have only changed a bit since last month: 20% weight, 10% height and 75% head.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
You are holding your head up SO well! Dr. Royal told us you have "incredible tone" and you're strength is great...you can thank you Daddy for those genes!  You're also now starting to stand in our laps when we hold you up.  You're getting so strong and growing so well!

LIKES:
Cuddles with anyone (but especially mom & dad), playtime on the mat under the music and lights, KSU Choir rehearsal with your Papa, eye contact & bath time...you love bath time!! 

DISLIKES:
We found out this month that your tummy does not like milk protein that momma gives you, so for now, you don't like diary {unless it's momma's milk!}.  You also don't like being alone for very long or when you're hungry!

First Day Jitters

To say I was nervous about going back to work would be a HUGE understatement!  I was not nervous about seeing people at work, or getting back into my projects, or even fitting into my clothes (ok, maybe a little); I was nervous about leaving this adorable fella' all day long.  

We are so blessed to have family watching him all 5 days during the week, but even still, I knew I was going to miss him like crazy and feel guilty for getting back to the {work} grind.  About 3 weeks before I headed back I started to panic.    

How was I going to do this? Getting up early and leaving him somewhere else, with someone else!   

What if he forgets who I am? We have formed such a great bond, what if this breaks it?   

Is this really worth it? Can't we just go live in a tent on the beach somewhere and call it a day?!  

Each day led to new thoughts and new reasons to get upset and worry about the future.  Luckily for me, I was {and still am} surrounded by encouragement.  Family members and friends alike who prayed for me, encouraged me and talked me off the ledge.  What I am doing right now is exactly what I should be doing.  Where I am right now is exactly where I should be.  How we're choosing to look after Max is exactly how we should be....regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

So this past Sunday night, as I packed Max's bag, my lunch, my work bag and my pump {a whole other post of it's own...}, I knew what I was doing was right.  I held my sweet boy extra tight all evening, and gave him even more kisses than usual.  He reassured me that the bond we have could not be broken, not even by 8 hours spent by him at someone else's home while I worked.

When I woke up Monday morning, I knew I was covered in prayer, and I felt it.  I cried a little on our way to my sister's and then again after leaving her home, and that was it.  He was beyond happy to be with his Aunt Ash & cousins all day, and we are SO blessed to have them to watch him!

I arrived at work and was warmly welcomed by my friends...

And was provided awesome updates by Aunt Ash throughout the day...

When 4:30 rolled around, my awesome husband brought my sweet little man to me at work so I could show him around to my colleagues, and I was in heaven.  We can do this, I thought.  This is our new normal, and we can {and will} make it through! 

And at the end of the night, all we did was snuggle on the sofa.  This is a bond that can never be broken.

Month ONE!

Where has the time gone?  I can't believe it's been one month since this handsome little fella came into our world and turned it upside down, in the very best way!  Max has been my greatest accomplishment in my life, and I am so excited to watch him grow and develop... 

It has been a very fun month, and I want to document some of our accomplishments along the way in his first year of life.  

This month....

DIAPERS:
Wearing newborn or size 1 diapers.  The size 1's are a little big, but so far we've had no leaks. 

CLOTHES: 
Wearing all newborn size clothing now.  The first part of the month he was in preemie and some newborn, but now it's all newborn (even though some things are still a tad too big...).  Max loves his cozy footed pajamas!

MEASUREMENTS:
Weighing in at 8lbs 5oz and 19 3/4in long, Max has certainly been eating well & growing strong!  His "official" percentile at his check up was: 20% weight, 5% height and 50% head.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Max is holding his head up like a champ!  Even the pediatrician was impressed at how high he held it, and for the duration he kept it there.  {Proud momma here!}

LIKES:
Cuddles with anyone (but especially mom & dad), being in the car seat when it's moving (either in the stroller or in the car), being in the Moby wrap, eye contact & milk...lots of milk!

DISLIKES:
Dirty diapers, his paci falling out & being hungry


We love you so very much Maxwell and look forward to next month as you grow even more!

first three weeks

I could look at this face all. day. long.  

I promise I will be better about posting pictures and little notes!  I have been taking a picture a day of the little man, and intend to put them all together after the one year mark to show just how much he changed in one year (GASP! I can't think that far ahead)....

And finally, one from today because he met my dear friend's son today, whom we are mandating he be friends with ;) and they are both just too dang cute (ok, ok, enough with the momma bias here...)!!

Make it a great day, friends!

Survial of the First Two Weeks

Where do I even begin?

Somehow I have become the world's worst blogger because I can't seem to bring myself to go turn on my computer and write anything out.  Why?  Not sure.  Probably because when I was working I was on my computer all. day. long. And I don't want to get sucked in and miss time with my boy.  That said, I love my blog and I really want to document all of the wonderful things happening with Max so I don't forget how our first weeks together were.

In looking back, there are a few things that I could not have lived without over these last two+ weeks [and still can't do without to be really honest].  Seriously, these helped make our new world much easier to walk through and I wanted to share with you [in case you were pregnant or would become pregnant soon...].

1.         Max loves his Snugabunny Bouncer & so does his momma!  Afternoon naps, a place to rest when I am taking a [much needed] shower…there are so many reasons to have, and love, this wonderful item!

2.         Our little man loves to be swaddled, and we love these Aden and Anais swaddle blankets  The blankets from the hospital are great, as are the basic flannel receiving blankets you can get at just about any store, but these are the bomb dot com. 

3.         Holy. Moly.  Who said nursing isn’t supposed to hurt if you’re “doing it right”?!  WHAT?! No way, I am doing it right [so the lovely lactation consultant says] and it. Hurts. Bad.  Luckily I have heard from many a momma that it does get better, but in the meantime I am using this awesome Lansinoh Nipple Cream to ease the pain.  Trust me, you will want it.  And as a bonus, it’s totally safe for the bebe and no need to wipe it off before feeding.

4.        I would hate to think that my little guy breastfeeding would keep me from being out & about in the world, or visiting with people who come over.  That’s where this awesome Nursing Cover comes in.  My talented little sister makes these on her own, so she made me a beautiful chevron patterned cover which has already gotten hours of use! 

5.        This fabulous Boppy pillow is super helpful!  I use it now to prop him up during feeding, and take some of the strain off of my back.  In the coming months, we will use it for tummy time, practicing sitting up, and probably more feedings.  Get yourself a Boppy and you will be glad you did!

6.        You can’t purchase this at any store, but I could not have lived without my sweet, selfless momma who has taken such great care of me, Max & BL.  She is unlike any other, and I am so thankful for her!  I pray that you, too, have someone to help you & your husband out in the first few weeks…much, much needed!

Allow me to introduce you....

It's been a sweet, wonderful, sleepless week around our house.  Our little Max was welcomed into this world in the wee hours of the morning on December 15, weighing in at 6lbs 3oz and 19.5in long.  

 

Oh, what joy he brings!  

We are in LOVE! 

Birth story is forthcoming, but for now I want to share his beautiful face :) 

 

Thankful Thursday

via

I am so thankful for so many things, and in this crazy season of life we are in, I am trying to be present daily and aware of the many blessings we have....

~a healthy growing baby boy who has stayed in the womb past doctor's expectations!  YAY!

~surprisingly warm December weather, which makes dressing this big ol' belly a bit easier!

~grace.  this crazy pregnant lady often needs it...and needs it in abundance!

~a safe hospital to go to for the delivery of my child.  oh, how we take great medical care for granted!

~laughter.  makes life's tough times a bit easier :)

What are you thankful for?  Go link up and share!

37 Weeks

I am always a tad late in posting these, but I wanted to share none-the-less.  I am so excited for Max to get here I can hardly stand it!! Enjoy this update {it could be my last before he arrives!!}!

How far along: 37 weeks

How big is your baby: somewhere between 5-6lbs, about the size of a watermelon

Sex: boy  

Maternity clothes: Yep.  Almost everything I wear, except cardigans and less fitting tops.

Stretch marks: still don’t have any & definitely praying they stay away!  Thank you, good genes & cocoa butter!  You are my best friends…

 Movement: All. The. Time! People say you don’t feel it as much this far along, but I certainly do!  He doesn’t like to be still…just like momma & daddy!   

Sleep: People keep saying “sleep now while you can” …while I can?! Well, I can’t, actually, and haven’t been able to for a while.  If my brain isn’t going 100 miles a minute keeping me up, I am getting up to pee a lot and waking at his bigger movements. 

Symptoms: Wild, ever-changing emotions!  

Best moment this week: When the ultrasound showed he FLIPPED!  Yippee!!  Hoping he remains head down!

Food cravings: This past week I had a mild obsession with a certain lemon meringue pie given to me by a dear friend…I didn’t even know I liked lemon meringue! And yes, I am still eating a TON of cereal!!   

Food aversions: still just chicken

Labor signs: not yet

Belly button in or out: My belly button is so strange!  Kind of in, kind of out.  Usually flat, but open. HA!  That sounds grosser than it is!

What I miss: Sleeping more, sleeping on my stomach or my back, peeing less and running.  I can’t wait to get my hands on a glass of red wine.

What I'm looking forward to: Finally holding my little man, and seeing his sweet face!  Last night I just sat in his nursery for 30 minutes and day dreamed about having him here.  CANNOT WAIT!!!  

 

I love my cousin... AKA Maternity Pictures :)

Let's face it, maternity pictures can easily be some of the most awkward pictures...ever.  Luckily for me, I happen to know an amazing photographer who is not in the awkward maternity picture business!  My cousin Lesley is amazing.  Her talent never ceases to amaze me and I am so blessed by her work, time and time again!  Hope you enjoy these shots as much as we do!