Wednesday, December 29, 2010

the right time?

When is the right time to start trying to have a baby?  I know I may receive some varying degrees of answers, and I am prepared for that, but I would like to know when you think is the right time...or is there a right time?  BL & I have been married a whooping 3 months, but we're in discussions about when would be the right best time to "start trying".  Now that the wedding is over, I hear this question often: "when will you start having kids?"  We both agree that the whole thing is in God's hands, and that we have to trust in His perfect plan for us.  That is a big statement.  

TRUST.  HIM.  

Putting my trust, and all control into HIS hands. I fear failure, and can't lie, I fear the 'unknown' of it all.  I feel like it makes me a failure to admit that but I bet there are several women who fear the same thing.  Maybe?  Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Maybe not. I am too scheduled, too type A...I like plans.  I need to pray over Jeremiah 29:11 (and many others like it) a little more.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

His plans may not be my plans.  Did I mention I was a planner.  As in, I like schedules.  A lot.  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will make your paths straight"

He will make your paths straight, as in He will mark the paths.  You will follow Him.  Not your schedule you wrote on a post-it last night.  

Big thoughts for my tiny brain...

11 comments:

  1. You are not alone with that fear! I am the exact same way (type A, planner) and I think about it all the time even though our right time won't be for a few more years. I love the verses you shared- I needed those, too! :)

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  2. The right time for us came when we both just FELT it. The baby bug hit and we were ready to start trying. Logistically we had tons of reasons to wait a little longer, but we just KNEW. I think deep down you just know. And we started trying about 7 months after our marriage. M was born 1.5 years after our wedding.

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  3. only you and bobby will know when the time is right for ya'll! don't stress about it sis-- and i totally think the time is right for you now ;) haha...but that's just me, love you!

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  4. I'll add you to my prayer list :) But I am also excited for the day!

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  5. I personally don't feel like their is a perfect time to start having kids. We had our first exactly 10 months after our wedding day. Yes, we got prego on our honeymoon. :)

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  6. Well, I also tend to side with the "you'll just KNOW" camp, since that's what happened to me. I watched a family carry their baby through a restaurant on Christmas Eve 2008 and I suddenly KNEW I wanted to be doing that next year. I got pregnant 2 months later. :)

    The other part of this equation is that there is NO GOOD TIME to have a baby... meaning that no matter how well you plan, being pregnant will absolutely turn your life upside down in ways you can't anticipate... you'll miss parties from "morning" sickness, have to pass on opportunities because the timing isn't right with your due date or you know you'll have a brand new baby at that time. I can't tell you at how many weddings I was the only person NOT drinking or dancing (two of my favorite things!). I had to cut short my stint as a missionary, which surprisingly did NOT go over well with some of my fellow faith workers. BUT (there's always a but!) it is SO WORTH IT. You'll never look at your baby's face and think, "Man, I really wish I'd made it to Italy before you got here." Instead you'll think, "I can't wait to share all of my experiences WITH you!"

    So I think listening to the Lord and being open to HIS timing is the best "planning" you can do. Personally, and I've said this before, I can't wait to see the gorgeous mochachocolatte babies you are going to have, so I vote NOW!!! :)

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  7. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I understand wanting to plan everything out. I'm the exact same way. Things will happen when they are supposed to, and I know you will be ready when that time comes.

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  8. Ditto to pretty much everything that has always been said.

    There is a difference between being baby hungry and truly knowing that it is time to have a baby.

    I was never, ever baby hungry. In fact, I have never been a huge kid person. I loved my nieces and nephews, but always felt stressed by them- this scared me and made me think that I'd never be ready for kids.

    And just like other friends of yours have said, it was a strange thing that happened... a gradual change that made me know that it was time to have kids and I felt more ready.

    Starting a family is between you, your husband, and the Lord... input from others is great, but when it comes down to it, it is your business and no one else's whether you have kids in one year or ten years.

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  9. Thanks so much for letting me know that you live close to me : ) I've visited your blog before after you left one other comment - I will make a note that you're a local : )

    Ahh...the baby bug...for us, our pregnancy happened WAY SOONER than we thought {the Dr said we conceived two weeks after returing from our honeymoon}...we were elated, but surprised at how soon it happened. I remember in pre-marital preparation classes, they told us that once you get married, be prepared to be a parent at any time. You may have your "idea" of when the "perfect" time will be but life's wheel doesn't operate on "perfection"...in fact, most of the happy things that come along unexpectedly are the things that make your life full of so much joy : )

    Ideally, we would like to start trying for our second child in another 2 years, when Ilah is 3. But should things not go as expected to "our plan" we know that God purposed that specific time and we will be joyful for that additional blessing no matter what!

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  10. Sorry I am so behind but I wanted to comment!

    I don't think there is a "right time." I had always wanted to have a fall baby - no particular reason. But when I convinced John Paul that we should start trying, I didn't want to wait.

    I think if you're secure in your relationship and both of you are ready then the time is right. As far as planning the timing - I'm loving the fact that I'm not 7 months pregnant in the middle of summer!!

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  11. I started "nesting" two months after we got married - so we bought a cat. Then, the nesting bug hit again 4 months after that. So, we bought a dog. Then, one year after our wedding, we found out we were having a baby! I just love how everything works out. Best of luck to you both. xo

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